Couples therapy begins with providing a safe, comfortable place for couples to connect.
In every session, my goal is provide a safe space for a couple to learn and develop a new way of communicating so that they can start to feel safe and rebuild the trust in their relationship. I want couples to leave feeling heard and feeling gotten by their partner. I strive to have couples leave my office feeling a deeper level of connection and understanding with the tools necessary to do relationship better. When a new level of consciousness and understanding is brought to a relationship, transformation ensues.
Certified in Imago Relationship TherapyImago Therapy and Workshops have transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people in over 40 countries worldwide.
EFT TrainedEmotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a unique, evidence-based approach to relationship therapy.
I firmly believe that no matter how far off course things have gotten in a relationship, if both people are willing and committed to do the work necessary, their relationship can be saved. I help couples to be more conscious and intentional in the way they respond to one another so they can experience greater joy and fulfillment in their most important relationship.
Using the Imago Dialogue Process, I facilitate the experience of each partner feeling heard, seen and cherished by their partner. The dialogue process provides a structure that allows space for both partners’ world view to be heard, validated and empathized with. I let couples know from the beginning that this work is about taking personal responsibility. They learn to stop pointing the blame at the other person and instead learn to take responsibility for how they may be contributing to the negative cycles that they keep getting caught in. The focus then becomes what they can do differently that might have a different outcome.
Every bit of difference in how each partner shows up in the relationship will change the dynamic between them. I encourage couples to try new ways of being with each other and do more of what is working well. I teach them to bring more positivity into the relationship through appreciations and other small gestures, every day, to show love and compassion.
I also help couples understand the connection between the challenges they are facing in their adult relationship and how they are directly related to the experiences they had in their families of origin. Our teachers for committed love relationship were our parents and couples will have a marriage that looks like a combination of their parents’ marriages, unless they consciously do it different. And most people do not want their parents’ marriage. As partners become more aware of these connections, they can understand why they are struggling so much in their relationship. With these new understandings and insights couples feel empowered and more hopeful.
I make it a point to normalize the challenges inherent in committed love relationships and teach couples how to protect and nurture their relationship. It’s important for my clients to realize that conflict is growth trying to happen. Rupture is inevitable in relationship, and in the repair there is an opportunity for greater understanding and deeper connection. I teach couples how to get to the other side of conflict and find the gold in it.
I work with couples to build on their strengths and focus on reducing the amount of negativity in their relationship so they can rediscover the love and passion between them. Shared positive experiences together are necessary for a relationship to move forward and heal. I incorporate fun into the couples work because having fun together helps to restore feelings of safety and trust.
In every session, I have each partner set an intention or a goal based on what they are hoping to get out of the meeting. In addition to making those goals a reality, I am aiming in each session for couples to have a new, positive experience where they feel more connected and understood than when they first came in. During the session, I highlight victories, moments of connection, strengths, similarities between partners and how they are feeling as well as progress that I observe. Overall, I strive to build understanding and empathy between partners while teaching them how to communicate more effectively, so each partner feels gotten.
I meet with couples for 90 minute sessions, weekly or biweekly.
My experience with facilitating two-day Imago couples workshops for 15 years led me to start doing intensives with couples. It’s a great alternative to a workshop for a couple who prefer the intimacy of an office setting.
These are 3 hour sessions for couples who are coming from further away and for couples who need more than regular weekly or biweekly sessions. This is a great option for couples in crisis. In these sessions, couples have various experiences that promote connection and understanding of themselves, their partner, and their relationship.